You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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