everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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