he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize