Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
