Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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