Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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