She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she smelled like a LAN party
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize