Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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