it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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