i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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