that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
