I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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