he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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