I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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