She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize