Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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