so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
