Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
