He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
