Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
