I hate your face
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
