If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
