My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
