wat bout pragnant strippers??
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize