Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
