normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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