Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
