i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
