fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
