actually, I'm a sock model
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
