Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize