It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
