ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
