I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
