:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
