I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
