where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
