I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
