just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
