if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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