I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
