yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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