ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
