I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
