Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
