your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Someone signed my nipple.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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