Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
handjob tips. give me some.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how drunk are you?
Several
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
