sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
