I will die if light touches me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
