now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
