i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
