I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
