My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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