I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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