ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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