in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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