Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
