That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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