This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
