hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
