That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
