Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
