i permit you to call me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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