Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
