I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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