I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize