I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
