"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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