He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
