Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
