im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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