I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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