WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
